God said Go

A couple of weeks ago I couldn't create. I couldn't gain any forward momentum in my life. I felt like I was on the precipice of change, good change, but I was stuck. Looking around my messy apartment, I realized that I wouldn't be able to create art until I created some space.

Physically and emotionally, my house was cluttered. I wasn't sure what to do about the internal junk, but I thought a path might be revealed if I dealt with the external mess.

So for the past month, Monte and I have been cleaning out our apartment. We started with the bedroom, then the closet, then the living room and the office. And with each room that we cleared, my head began to clear a little, too.

During that time, I started on a whole slew of meds that wiped out my strep throat and allergies. I gave my voice a chance to heal. It returned just in time for me to sing at the wedding of my friends Dorian and Joyce on Sunday. And as I waited to reclaim my singing voice, my writer's voice began to emerge here in these posts. I forgot how much I love to write. Having a forum for my thoughts has helped me marshal my creative energy - suddenly I have a million ideas, and not enough time to put them into practice.

And all of it a sudden, it's like God said, "Go!" In the past week and a half, six people have approached me about gigs or collaborations. I've got to learn music for 3 events coming up in the next 2 weeks. The sudden onslaught of opportunity has me a little overwhelmed; I don't feel ready.

But I know two things: 1) Some of these projects will falter or be delayed, as is often the case in these scenarios. It's too early to get excited or upset about anything. And 2) I have to take every opportunity that comes my way right now. Even though it's my habit to fret about the details (What if I get too busy? What if I don't have the right clothes for that gig? How am I going to get to that rehearsal without a car?), things have a way of working themselves out. I just have to be receptive and flexible. I just have to say, "Yes".

Huh. Put that way, it's pretty simple. God says, "Go!" and I say, "Yes."

Well, all right then.