Celebrity SUCCESS-ability!

It worked! IT WORKED! LeVar Burton is following me on Twitter!

Wait, stop. If you don't know what I'm talking about, go no further until you read this post.

It's been two weeks since I wrote that entry, and I was starting to give up on the idea of hearing back from LeVar Burton or Wil Wheaton. But then Wil Wheaton tweeted this:

New post on my blog: the spambots on twitter are completely out of control.

I went to his blog and read all about how a recent change in functionality was making it impossible for him to locate his direct messages, because vicious, pornographic spambots were filling his @mentions tab with graphic invitations to do naked-type things. Because of his celebrity and his large number of followers, he was receiving an avalanche of bogus mentions and couldn't possibly sift through them to find my tiny friend request.

Aha! I thought. I'm still in with a chance! I wrote a comment on his blog post:

errin marie said...

Damn. Looks like I picked the wrong time to try and contact you via twitter. It was my first @anybody message and I was very excited about it. I'm glad I saw your tweet.

Anyway, I wrote a blog post about how I would like to be friends with you (and LeVar Burton). And then I sent you a tweet, ensuring you that I am not a crazy person.

It was not my intention to out myself as a supernerd here, but oh well. If you read my blog and decide you'd like to be digital friends, well, that would just be the coolest.

http://errinmarie.blogspot.com/2009/08/celebrity-accessibility.html

Sincerely,
Errin Marie

Unfortunately, my post was not very timely. Some fifty other people had already responded to his entry two days earlier, when he'd actually written it. You've got to be quick in this new digital age, folks.

So I waited a few days, thinking I might try again, but trying to be aware of that fine line between persistent, possible new friend, and annoying, possibly dangerous stranger.

And then Wil Wheaton's dog died. And he was wrecked by it. His blog post saddened me so thoroughly, I decided not to even write a comment below it. I didn't think some stranger's inadequate condolences could help him with his grief, so I just quietly doffed my hat to his sadness. I decided not to bother him anymore with what now seemed like a silly request for friendship.

I'd always thought I stood a better chance of hearing back from Wil Wheaton, as opposed to LeVar Burton, because of his online omnipresence and his interaction with fans via the blog. So when I realized that I'd probably not hear from Wil, I sadly gave up the idea of hearing from LeVar as well.

'Celebrity accessibility' is a joke, I said to myself, even in this digital age. I'm no closer to reaching my childhood hero than I was 25 years ago. The thought depressed me.

But then my buddy George sent me a tweet:

Hey Errin!! "Reading Rainbow is going off the air today after 26 years." Maybe NOW LeVar will have time to write you! ;)

Ha. I doubted it, but it certainly was coincidental timing.

My friend Heidi B. posted a link on Facebook to an NPR article about the end of the much-loved series:

The show's run is ending, Grant explains, because no one — not the station, not PBS, not the Corporation for Public Broadcasting — will put up the several hundred thousand dollars needed to renew the show's broadcast rights.

Grant says the funding crunch is partially to blame, but the decision to end Reading Rainbow can also be traced to a shift in the philosophy of educational television programming. The change started with the Department of Education under the Bush administration, he explains, which wanted to see a much heavier focus on the basic tools of reading — like phonics and spelling.

Grant says that PBS, CPB and the Department of Education put significant funding toward programming that would teach kids how to read — but that's not what Reading Rainbow was trying to do.

"Reading Rainbow taught kids why to read," Grant says. "You know, the love of reading — [the show] encouraged kids to pick up a book and to read."

Linda Simensky, vice president for children's programming at PBS, says that when Reading Rainbow was developed in the early 1980s, it was an era when the question was: "How do we get kids to read books?"

Since then, she explains, research has shown that teaching the mechanics of reading should be the network's priority.

I posted a comment on Heidi's link:

I found that explanation kind of weak. They realized that it's better to teach kids HOW to read instead of WHY to read, and so they cut funding to one of the most popular, long-standing children's shows of all time? Don't say it wasn't an effective method of teaching literacy - I learned to love reading largely because of LeVar Burton, and every book I've picked up since those days is because he taught me to look for the adventure inside. Stupid Bush administration.

Sorry, my politics are showing. Anyway, a few days later LeVar himself posted a link to the same NPR story on Twitter. And then today - TODAY, folks, he tweeted:

Tell me... What is your favorite episode of Reading Rainbow? #ReadingRainbow

Oh my. Oh my, oh my.

I wasn't entirely sure what the #ReadingRainbow tag meant. I scrolled through Twitter's FAQ section, trying to figure out how to interpret the # symbol, but I couldn't find any text that addressed it. I figured it was just some way of signifying a topic of conversation.

Quickly I wrote back:

@levarburton, you can read about my fav episode here: http://bit.ly/CUil4 . #ReadingRainbow

Oh! I was newly excited! Maybe this #ReadingRainbow tag would allow LeVar to find my message! I bet it was a direct link to all tweets concerning Reading Rainbow, and would bypass any nudie spambot traffic. Experimentally, I clicked on the #ReadingRainbow portion of the message, to see if I was right.

Oh crap. I was right, all right, but a bunch of people had already responded. I kept clicking at the bottom of the screen to dredge up more messages. Good Lord. It looked like this post had already generated hundreds of responses, and he'd only written it 26 minutes ago!

I sighed in frustration. Then I tweeted:

Man, I don't think I have a shot with LeVar Burton. He tweeted, 'What was your fav episode of Rdng Rainbow?' About a zillion folks replied!

I shook my head sadly in defeat. And as I closed the lid on my laptop, I closed the lid on my dream as well.

Ah. It had been a long shot anyway.

I ate some lunch. I had some soup and toast. Took a shower. Got ready to leave the house for my desk shift at the belly dance studio.

Moments before leaving, I was missing my cell phone. I scoured the living room for it before remembering that I'd never unplugged it that morning. It was still charging beside my bed.

Oops. I'd had it silenced all day. It flashed at me as I unplugged it: 2 TEXT MESSAGES.

Uh oh. I hoped nobody had been trying to reach me urgently. I plopped down on the bed and scrolled through my texts.

1/2: Direct from levarburton: I thought you had learned by now how silly it is to abandon your dreams. I am now following you so that we can keep in touch!

I started. I jumped off my bed, heart racing; my hand flew to my chest. The second text message read:

2/2: Direct from levarburton: BTW I LOVED your blog. 2 days well spent. You're a good writer!

Holy crap! Holy crap, HOLY CRAP!

But wait, this can't be real, I thought. I bet it's a prank. Yeah, you know, it's probably George, just trying to wind me up. Don't get excited.*

But my heart was beating like mad. I ran to my computer and pulled up my Twitter page. With shaking hands I clicked on my Followers tab.

HOLY CRAP!

It wasn't a prank! It was the real LeVar Burton! He was following me on Twitter!

LEVAR BURTON IS FOLLOWING ME ON TWITTER!

I ran in a circle. I picked things up; I put them down. I punched the sky in jubilation. I cut an honest-to-God caper. And then I realized I was going to be late for work. I grabbed my things and ran out the door.

Who to tell? Why, everybody of course! But who to tell first? I scrambled through my purse for my phone and dialed Monte as I walked my bike up the street.

"Baby! Baby guess what?" I babbled. "LeVar Burton is following me on Twitter! Honest to God. I left my cell phone on silence all day and just now I checked it and it said I had two new messages and I thought uh oh, I hope they're not important and they were from LeVar Burton! And I thought it was George pulling one over on me but it wasn't, it was honestly LeVar Burton and now he's following me on Twitter and I wanted to tell you first but now I have to go because I am late for work and also I have to call my Dad, I love you, buh-bye."

"Dad! Dad, guess what? LeVar Burton is following me on Twitter! Honest to God. Did you read my blog? Dad, you've got to keep up with my blog, there's lots happening, there's much going on and I can't be expected to keep you up to date all the time. Anyway, go read my blog post - no, not right now Dad, I have to go - but just, read it, okay, and then you'll know what's going on. But anyway, LeVar Burton sent me a message and he said 'Don't you know by now how silly it is to abandon your dreams?' and he READ MY BLOG, Dad, and he said I was a GOOD WRITER - no, I don't have time to explain all this to Aunt Barbara now, but go read the blog and it's all in there, I gotta go, I'm late, I just had to tell you this, I love you, buh-bye."

Then I raced up the street to the belly dance studio.

"LeVar Burton is following me on Twitter!" I announced to the owner, Samar, when I reached the studio. She looked at me blankly.

"LeVar Burton," I explained. "From Reading Rainbow." And the story tumbled out once more.

"Oh my God, that's incredible!" she shrieked. And then I shrieked a little, and she shrieked again, and then we wrung our hands in a terribly girlie fashion, and it was all wonderfully exciting, to have someone to shriek with over my truly amazing news.

I couldn't wait to check all the clients into the first class, so that I could turn my attention to my blog. I greeted everyone with an extra-bright smile, and ushered them quickly (but politely) into the studio. I was absolutely bursting to tweet my news.

Samar got ready to start her class. She stuck her head out the studio door and said to me, "Hey, what's that guy's name again?"

"LeVar Burton!" I exclaimed. "You know, Reading Rainbow, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Roots: The Saga of an American Family?"

"Right!" she said brightly. "Woo hoo!" She gave me a double thumbs-up and then shut the door.

Ah, well. I admired her enthusiasm, at least.

And for the past four hours I've been trying to write this post. But it's been an awfully busy night here at the studio and people keep needing things from me. Plus, the music is ear-splittingly loud, which I normally don't mind, but it doesn't do much for my concentration.

Oh, damn. The last class is letting out and it's time for me to close up. I'll have to post this entry when I get home.

Hang in there, world! I know you're desperate to know, and shortly I'll be able to tell you:

LEVAR BURTON IS FOLLOWING ME ON TWITTER!

So suck on that, Mike Gladis! Ha HA!


*Yo George, I'm sorry for thinking you'd do me like that.

On the balls of my feet

I haven't been blogging much lately and I'm starting to feel kind of bad about that. I thought I'd explain to you why.

You see, a couple of weeks ago Monte unwittingly posed me a challenge. I think we were talking about how I should be kicking off my singing career. He said offhandedly, "You should release an album this year."

To which I responded, "That's ridiculous. You don't just release an album in a year. I'm ages away from that."

He shrugged, and that was the end of the conversation.

But you know, he got me thinking.

It doesn't have to be anything spectacular, I mused. I could just record something within the next year, just to get myself going. I mean, even if it's a crappy first effort, that wouldn't matter; at least it would be something. Surely I could manage that within a year, right?

So a few days later I announced to Monte that I would present him with a recording come Valentine's Day next year. It will be my gift to him.

I felt really good about that declaration! For about 24 hours. Then I realized I had no idea what to do next.

Meanwhile, my friend Jonah (the selfsame Jonah of blog entries past) emailed me: Hey, when are you going to send me some lyrics? For I had mentioned to Jonah that I know I can write lyrics, but I'm stumped about writing music. He plays guitar, and he graciously offered to help me pen a tune.

Oh, right! I responded. I've been meaning to get on that! I'll have them to you by next Friday.

And lo and behold, I did.

I sat down every day for a week and started churning out these lyrics that had been floating around in my head for ages. It was kind of frustrating because the song would only come out a little bit at a time. But after a solid week of work, I'd actually finished.

And I felt so good about that, I decided to complete a song every week! After all, I'd just proved to myself that it was only a matter of carving out the time! The songs are in there. I just have to draw them out.

The second piece was harder to come by than the first. Around Wednesday I got fed up and put it aside in favor of a third song. I finished neither that week, but resolved to wrap them both up by the end of Week 3.

Instead what happened was that Thursday of Week 3 found me stressed and depressed. I realized that I didn't really know what I was doing. I vaguely understood that I was working really hard in a manner that was not very productive, just spinning my wheels. And the unexpected side effect was that I had no interest in writing for my blog - in fact, I barely thought about it - because I was so wrapped up in these going-nowhere songs.

So I took a few days off. OK, more like a week. A week and half, tops. I got a pedicure.

And I started signing up for a lot of classes. Belly dancing. Zumba. Beginning Sewing. Swimming. Yoga. Songwriting. I pondered Ceramics but decided to hold off on that for awhile.

You're probably wondering why I would bother with anything other than the Songwriting class, but I was floundering. I know that I work better when I'm busy and I was trying to stimulate my brain creatively, even through an indirect approach. Plus, I want to make a wrap-around skirt to wear over my yoga and belly dance clothes. And when else am I going to have the time to do all this? I should be making the most of this time off!

Did that sound a little defensive? Maybe it was. Truthfully, in the back of my mind I wondered how Monte feels about supporting my creative whimsy. A few days later I found out.

"Honestly, sometimes I wonder if you've got enough drive for a singing career," he said to me the other night. "Do you want it bad enough? I want to see you succeed, but I can't support you indefinitely."

I waited for that to sting, but he'd only said what I'd been suspecting he felt.

"Let me ask you," I said, "Do you think I've got the talent for this?"

"There's no question of that," he replied. "Absolutely, I do."

"Okay," I said, nodding thoughtfully. "I don't know how to convince you that I have the desire and the drive to do this. Sometimes I fear that I don't have the necessary talent, but if you believe in me and my friends believe in me, then it's easier to believe in myself. I want to do this. I just don't know how. I am lost. I feel like I'm on the balls of my feet, ready to launch myself forward, but I don't know which direction to go. When those doors open up in my head, when I figure out just what to do, I am ready to work so hard. I just don't know how to get started. I don't know what I'm doing.

"But I hear you," I told him. "I can't even begin to thank you for the gift of this time. I know it won't last and I want to make the most of it."

We sat in silence for a few moments.

"There's more, isn't there?" I asked. We'd been talking about marriage earlier and I segued back to that topic. "It's not just financial, the reason why you don't want to get married right now? Are you feeling like you want to wait until I'm in a more stable place in my life?" After seven and a half years together I wasn't fearful that this signaled trouble in our relationship. But we've been talking about marriage for ages and still haven't done it; it seems there's always a reason to wait.

"I just want us to be coming from a place of equal partnership," he said finally. "And we've waited this long...why not wait until it's right?" He sighed. I sighed. I fully respected what he had said. But both of us are longing to get on with our lives.

"The trouble is, sometimes you can wait too long, and then it's too late." He looked at me seriously. I felt an odd mixture of sadness and determination. There's been a lot of give and take in our relationship over the years, times when one of us would stand so the other one could lean. He's standing for me now.

"It's late," he said. "Let's go to bed." He pushed himself up from the kitchen table and reached out his hand to pull me out of my seat. He switched off the light as we left the room.

I lay in bed thinking: It's on me.

So what do you do when you don't know what to do?

I guess you ask for help.

You ask the people who might know, you ask the people who might not know, you ask the Universe, you ask God. You ask, you listen, you plan, you act.

I write this as my declaration to ask, listen, plan, act. I'm asking the Universe, I'm asking God (who are probably one and the same, but you never know), I'm asking you for help.

I've got to figure out how to make things happen.

If for no other reason than because I want to marry that man.