Well done, friend.
*(Despite the fact that our high school English teacher used to declare, at the end of her rope, "Michael, you're going to wind up making sandwiches for the military!")
Showing posts with label Mad Men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mad Men. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Well done, friend
I should make it clear that I've been kidding around about Mike Gladis. He's an old friend, one of those guys that I'll love to the end of my days, and I'm proud of his success. It's true that we used to wander around New York and ponder our distant futures, but I never doubted that he'd make it.* His breakthrough is a testament to how hard he's worked these past many years, and he fully deserves every moment of these good times.
Well done, friend.
*(Despite the fact that our high school English teacher used to declare, at the end of her rope, "Michael, you're going to wind up making sandwiches for the military!")
Well done, friend.
*(Despite the fact that our high school English teacher used to declare, at the end of her rope, "Michael, you're going to wind up making sandwiches for the military!")
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Celebrity accessibility
When I was in junior high, my friend Karly had a crush on Wil Wheaton. It was a pretty severe crush, bordering on obsession. I'm not saying that she was a stalker or anything, but at one point she did send herself flowers and address the card: To Karly, love Wil.
(It was not her proudest moment and 18 years later I'm still cringing for her. So I've taken the liberty of changing Karly's name here.)
Despite the fact that it rendered her slightly pathetic at times, I was a cheerleader for Karly's die-hard love, if only because she never doubted, not for one moment, that she would meet Wil Wheaton someday. And with the conviction of a besotted teenage girl, she knew that upon meeting him he would fall hopelessly in love with her. I had my doubts about that second part, but I still supported her. I admired her sheer force of will.
Now, these were the days before Twitter and Facebook and even email, and making direct contact with a celebrity was a virtually impossible thing to do, especially for a teenager from Connecticut. We didn't know then how much the world would change in just a few short years.
But Karly was not to be deterred. Late in our high school career she finally tracked Wil down at a Star Trek convention. Thankfully, after 6 years her furious ardor had dimmed to the level of a minor crush. She got his autograph and had her photo taken with him and she was satisfied.
But my admiration for her was renewed. Damned if that girl didn't get what she wanted, even if she had to wait a couple of years.
I myself had only a passing interest in Wil at the time. My father was a big fan of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and we spent more dinner hours than I'd like to recall eating off our laps in front of that show. It drove my mother crazy that we used the kitchen table more for storage than for family meals, and it drove my brother and I crazy because we had no interest in Star Trek. But any time the show was on, my father insisted that we watch it. Sometimes he would fall asleep in front of the TV and my brother or I would sneak the remote control out of his hand and change the channel. No matter how deeply my dad was snoring he would snap awake and proclaim dangerously, "I was watching that."
So I got to know the crew of the Starship Enterprise quite well. Wil Wheaton's Wesley Crusher became one of my favorite characters, in part because he was the only teenager on the show, and partly because of my appreciation for Karly and her steadfast devotion. Later on I saw Stand By Me, and by then I had to concede that Wil Wheaton was pretty cool.
A decade and a half later, someone referred me to wilwheaton.net. It was the first blog I ever saw, and I was amazed. It's like an online journal, I mused. I was struck by what a funny, regular guy Wil was. And what really surprised me were the conversations that sprung up in the blog's comments section. Fans would respond to Wil's posts, and quite often he would write back. How the world changes! I marveled. 15 years ago Karly would have sold a kidney to get in touch with Wil Wheaton, and now she could just post a comment on his blog and he would see it. And he might even write back!
So Wil Wheaton goes down in my mind's history as the first celebrity to really make himself accessible to his fans. And I quite admire him for it.
My other favorite crew member on the Starship Enterprise was Commander Geordi La Forge, played by LeVar Burton.
I have adored LeVar Burton since I was a preschooler. Reading Rainbow was my all-time favorite television show, and do you know, I don't think I've enjoyed a program so much since then. Before I could even tell time, I had a sixth sense that allowed me to abandon my play and rush inside moments before it came on the air. LeVar Burton took me into aquariums, costume shops, bakeries, pet shows and a hundred other worlds, and instilled in me a love of books that will never fade.
I wrote only two fan letters in my entire childhood, and the first one was to him*. It was written in crayon.
Sadly, I never mailed it. I think I had the idea that because my dad worked in television he'd be able to get my letter to LeVar (after all, he'd had no trouble passing my messages to Santa Claus). But Dad didn't know where to mail it either. I'm not sure what happened to that letter.
Oddly enough, it was years before I learned that LeVar Burton's first claim to fame was his role as Kunta Kinte in the TV miniseries Roots.
Growing up, we had a hard cover copy of Roots on the bookshelf in our living room. But who didn't? I developed a theory that every couple who had a child in the late seventies received a free copy of Roots when they left the hospital. All my friends' parents had a copy, but none of us knew what the book was about. I thought it was a dusty old tome about tracing your genealogy, which was my father's pet project.
But our copy of Roots was special. Inside the front cover the author Alex Haley wrote this inscription to my father:
I don't remember what convinced me to actually read the book. I think my father gave it to me for my birthday or for Christmas one year. He passed it on with such reverence, but at the time I was a little miffed that my present was something that had been sitting on our family's bookshelf my entire life.
But then I read the book, and lost myself to it. It became one of my all-time favorites. In the years since I have re-read it (or parts of it) dozens of times, but I have never been able to re-read the section where Kunta comes over on the slave ship. It was all I could do to read it once; I fought back nausea and tears the entire time.
Today, of course, I know what a treasure that book is. It holds a place of honor on my living room bookshelf now.
In 1977 the Roots TV miniseries hit the air and the greater American public became familiar with Alex Haley's story. But that was still months before I was born. I myself did not become aware of the miniseries until after I'd read the novel and subsequently studied the differences between the book and the series in an African American Literature course in college.
I was amazed to learn that LeVar Burton had portrayed Kunta Kinte on the screen. It seemed like I'd been bumping into that man my entire life, and he was still telling me wonderful stories. Butterflies-in-the-sky, boldly-going-where-no-one-has-gone-before kinds of stories.
Fast forward to the (nearly) current day. "Have you heard about this thing called Twitter?" my friend Katie asked me excitedly last year. "You can follow your friends through text messages and find out what they're doing all day!"
I didn't want to tell Katie how dumb that sounded. I couldn't foresee ever being interested in such a silly waste of time.
Katie, I formally and publicly apologize.
Of course, I'm a constant tweeter these days. I love sending out tiny highlights from my day to whomever may be reading. The challenge to be witty and informative in 140 characters is one that I just can't resist.
All the same, I keep my list of Twitter friends well-pruned. I only follow a small group of people, and among that group are only two celebrities: LeVar Burton and Wil Wheaton.
That was kind of a coincidence, to tell you the truth. Their names popped up on the right-hand side of my screen and I realized that I wanted to know what they were up to.
"I'm surprised you don't follow more celebrities on Twitter," remarked Monte, "since you love that kind of thing." He was referring to my collection of US Weekly magazines.
I shrugged. "Just because they're famous doesn't mean they're clever. I don't want to know what all those people are doing all day long."
"Is Wil Wheaties clever?" asked Monte.
"Wil Wheaton. Well, half the time he writes from the perspective of his cat. And the other half the time I can't really understand what he's saying. It's some kind of geek speak, I think. His wife seems pretty funny though.
"But that's not the point. The point is, I admire the dude for his normalcy, for making his celebrity so accessible. Did I ever tell you about my friend Karly?"
He listened gamely as I regaled him with the tale. "And LeVar Burton," I continued, "well...he was just my childhood hero. And he was Kunta friggin' Kinte, for God's sake." Monte blinked at me uncomprehendingly. "Oh, read Roots," I beseeched him. "And then we can watch the miniseries together and discuss the differences. It's only 12 hours long! We could do that in a weekend!" I called to his retreating form.
I was thinking about celebrity accessibility the other day as I walked home from dance class. I remembered that crayoned letter that I'd written to LeVar Burton. I wished I still had it; I wondered what it said. It's such a shame that I was never able to send it to him.
And it came to me, in a flash, that I could write to him again, today! In fact, I could send him a tweet! I could still let him know how much the stories he's chosen to tell with his career have meant to me.
And - hang on a minute - yes! Yes! Thanks to YouTube I can even show him my all-time favorite episode of Reading Rainbow, the one about teamwork, with the song that I'm still singing some 25 years later:
But before I got the chance, that very afternoon in fact, I checked Twitter and read LeVar's latest post:
Say what now?
If you read my last blog entry you'll know that my old friend Mike has a role on Mad Men. He plays Paul Kinsey. Was LeVar Burton going to appear in a spot with Mike?
I logged onto Facebook. And sure enough, Mike's entire family had posted the clip:
"Holy shit," I said aloud.
Monte came up behind me. "Whoa, that's Gladis!" he exclaimed.
"Yeah," I said, disbelieving. "And that's LeVar Burton."
Monte studied the screen. "Which one?" he asked.
"The black guy!" I exploded. "Jesus - I'm going to make you sit down and watch an entire season of Star Trek.
"Damn that Mike," I said, shaking my head. "First he refuses to come to the junior prom with me, and now he's on TV, palling around with my childhood hero."
"Like, 16 years later," Monte calculated.
"Whatever," I sulked. "He probably never even watched Reading Rainbow. I'll bet he doesn't know the 'Teamwork' song."
"Don't be a pill," Monte admonished me.
"Sorry. I'm just jealous."
"Wait a minute. So Mike does a movie with Harrison Ford and Liam Neeson and that doesn't bother you, but you're jealous of a 30-second spot with LeVar Burton?"
"Did you not watch the 'Teamwork' clip?" I asked him.
Onscreen LeVar declared, "I'm LeVar Burton! I can do anything!"
"Yes you can, LeVar Burton," I murmured. "Yes you can."
I stood up abruptly. "I'm going to write a blog post," I said decisively. "And then I'm going to tweet it to LeVar Burton and Wil Wheaton. I'm going to test this theory of celebrity accessibility."
"Maybe Mike would introduce you," offered Monte.
"He, um, won't return my emails," I said, looking at the ground.
"So what, are you just going to ask these guys if they want to be your friends?" Monte questioned.
"Pretty much, yeah."
He clapped me on the shoulder. "Go for it, babe."
And so I have spent the last two days crafting this blog post.
All this to say:
I hope they write back.
* The second fan letter was to Mariah Carey. I told her I wanted to be a singer like her when I grew up, and asked her if she was half black, like me.
(It was not her proudest moment and 18 years later I'm still cringing for her. So I've taken the liberty of changing Karly's name here.)
Despite the fact that it rendered her slightly pathetic at times, I was a cheerleader for Karly's die-hard love, if only because she never doubted, not for one moment, that she would meet Wil Wheaton someday. And with the conviction of a besotted teenage girl, she knew that upon meeting him he would fall hopelessly in love with her. I had my doubts about that second part, but I still supported her. I admired her sheer force of will.
Now, these were the days before Twitter and Facebook and even email, and making direct contact with a celebrity was a virtually impossible thing to do, especially for a teenager from Connecticut. We didn't know then how much the world would change in just a few short years.
But Karly was not to be deterred. Late in our high school career she finally tracked Wil down at a Star Trek convention. Thankfully, after 6 years her furious ardor had dimmed to the level of a minor crush. She got his autograph and had her photo taken with him and she was satisfied.
But my admiration for her was renewed. Damned if that girl didn't get what she wanted, even if she had to wait a couple of years.
I myself had only a passing interest in Wil at the time. My father was a big fan of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and we spent more dinner hours than I'd like to recall eating off our laps in front of that show. It drove my mother crazy that we used the kitchen table more for storage than for family meals, and it drove my brother and I crazy because we had no interest in Star Trek. But any time the show was on, my father insisted that we watch it. Sometimes he would fall asleep in front of the TV and my brother or I would sneak the remote control out of his hand and change the channel. No matter how deeply my dad was snoring he would snap awake and proclaim dangerously, "I was watching that."
So I got to know the crew of the Starship Enterprise quite well. Wil Wheaton's Wesley Crusher became one of my favorite characters, in part because he was the only teenager on the show, and partly because of my appreciation for Karly and her steadfast devotion. Later on I saw Stand By Me, and by then I had to concede that Wil Wheaton was pretty cool.
A decade and a half later, someone referred me to wilwheaton.net. It was the first blog I ever saw, and I was amazed. It's like an online journal, I mused. I was struck by what a funny, regular guy Wil was. And what really surprised me were the conversations that sprung up in the blog's comments section. Fans would respond to Wil's posts, and quite often he would write back. How the world changes! I marveled. 15 years ago Karly would have sold a kidney to get in touch with Wil Wheaton, and now she could just post a comment on his blog and he would see it. And he might even write back!
So Wil Wheaton goes down in my mind's history as the first celebrity to really make himself accessible to his fans. And I quite admire him for it.
My other favorite crew member on the Starship Enterprise was Commander Geordi La Forge, played by LeVar Burton.
I have adored LeVar Burton since I was a preschooler. Reading Rainbow was my all-time favorite television show, and do you know, I don't think I've enjoyed a program so much since then. Before I could even tell time, I had a sixth sense that allowed me to abandon my play and rush inside moments before it came on the air. LeVar Burton took me into aquariums, costume shops, bakeries, pet shows and a hundred other worlds, and instilled in me a love of books that will never fade.
I wrote only two fan letters in my entire childhood, and the first one was to him*. It was written in crayon.
Sadly, I never mailed it. I think I had the idea that because my dad worked in television he'd be able to get my letter to LeVar (after all, he'd had no trouble passing my messages to Santa Claus). But Dad didn't know where to mail it either. I'm not sure what happened to that letter.
Oddly enough, it was years before I learned that LeVar Burton's first claim to fame was his role as Kunta Kinte in the TV miniseries Roots.
Growing up, we had a hard cover copy of Roots on the bookshelf in our living room. But who didn't? I developed a theory that every couple who had a child in the late seventies received a free copy of Roots when they left the hospital. All my friends' parents had a copy, but none of us knew what the book was about. I thought it was a dusty old tome about tracing your genealogy, which was my father's pet project.
But our copy of Roots was special. Inside the front cover the author Alex Haley wrote this inscription to my father:
That was two weeks shy of a year before I was born. My father was producing a show called People Are Talking and Alex Haley was a guest. Roots had just come out and nobody knew anything about it yet.October 6, 1976Matthew, my brother, Kunta Kinte's family wishes the very best to you and your family!
Sincerely, Alex Haley
I don't remember what convinced me to actually read the book. I think my father gave it to me for my birthday or for Christmas one year. He passed it on with such reverence, but at the time I was a little miffed that my present was something that had been sitting on our family's bookshelf my entire life.
But then I read the book, and lost myself to it. It became one of my all-time favorites. In the years since I have re-read it (or parts of it) dozens of times, but I have never been able to re-read the section where Kunta comes over on the slave ship. It was all I could do to read it once; I fought back nausea and tears the entire time.
Today, of course, I know what a treasure that book is. It holds a place of honor on my living room bookshelf now.
In 1977 the Roots TV miniseries hit the air and the greater American public became familiar with Alex Haley's story. But that was still months before I was born. I myself did not become aware of the miniseries until after I'd read the novel and subsequently studied the differences between the book and the series in an African American Literature course in college.
I was amazed to learn that LeVar Burton had portrayed Kunta Kinte on the screen. It seemed like I'd been bumping into that man my entire life, and he was still telling me wonderful stories. Butterflies-in-the-sky, boldly-going-where-no-one-has-gone-before kinds of stories.
Fast forward to the (nearly) current day. "Have you heard about this thing called Twitter?" my friend Katie asked me excitedly last year. "You can follow your friends through text messages and find out what they're doing all day!"
I didn't want to tell Katie how dumb that sounded. I couldn't foresee ever being interested in such a silly waste of time.
Katie, I formally and publicly apologize.
Of course, I'm a constant tweeter these days. I love sending out tiny highlights from my day to whomever may be reading. The challenge to be witty and informative in 140 characters is one that I just can't resist.
All the same, I keep my list of Twitter friends well-pruned. I only follow a small group of people, and among that group are only two celebrities: LeVar Burton and Wil Wheaton.
That was kind of a coincidence, to tell you the truth. Their names popped up on the right-hand side of my screen and I realized that I wanted to know what they were up to.
"I'm surprised you don't follow more celebrities on Twitter," remarked Monte, "since you love that kind of thing." He was referring to my collection of US Weekly magazines.
I shrugged. "Just because they're famous doesn't mean they're clever. I don't want to know what all those people are doing all day long."
"Is Wil Wheaties clever?" asked Monte.
"Wil Wheaton. Well, half the time he writes from the perspective of his cat. And the other half the time I can't really understand what he's saying. It's some kind of geek speak, I think. His wife seems pretty funny though.
"But that's not the point. The point is, I admire the dude for his normalcy, for making his celebrity so accessible. Did I ever tell you about my friend Karly?"
He listened gamely as I regaled him with the tale. "And LeVar Burton," I continued, "well...he was just my childhood hero. And he was Kunta friggin' Kinte, for God's sake." Monte blinked at me uncomprehendingly. "Oh, read Roots," I beseeched him. "And then we can watch the miniseries together and discuss the differences. It's only 12 hours long! We could do that in a weekend!" I called to his retreating form.
I was thinking about celebrity accessibility the other day as I walked home from dance class. I remembered that crayoned letter that I'd written to LeVar Burton. I wished I still had it; I wondered what it said. It's such a shame that I was never able to send it to him.
And it came to me, in a flash, that I could write to him again, today! In fact, I could send him a tweet! I could still let him know how much the stories he's chosen to tell with his career have meant to me.
And - hang on a minute - yes! Yes! Thanks to YouTube I can even show him my all-time favorite episode of Reading Rainbow, the one about teamwork, with the song that I'm still singing some 25 years later:
Oh my goodness, I'm going to do it, I thought. I'm going to tweet LeVar Burton and send him my fan letter.
But before I got the chance, that very afternoon in fact, I checked Twitter and read LeVar's latest post:
At The Soup doing another spot with the cast of Mad Men.
Say what now?
If you read my last blog entry you'll know that my old friend Mike has a role on Mad Men. He plays Paul Kinsey. Was LeVar Burton going to appear in a spot with Mike?
I logged onto Facebook. And sure enough, Mike's entire family had posted the clip:
"Holy shit," I said aloud.
Monte came up behind me. "Whoa, that's Gladis!" he exclaimed.
"Yeah," I said, disbelieving. "And that's LeVar Burton."
Monte studied the screen. "Which one?" he asked.
"The black guy!" I exploded. "Jesus - I'm going to make you sit down and watch an entire season of Star Trek.
"Damn that Mike," I said, shaking my head. "First he refuses to come to the junior prom with me, and now he's on TV, palling around with my childhood hero."
"Like, 16 years later," Monte calculated.
"Whatever," I sulked. "He probably never even watched Reading Rainbow. I'll bet he doesn't know the 'Teamwork' song."
"Don't be a pill," Monte admonished me.
"Sorry. I'm just jealous."
"Wait a minute. So Mike does a movie with Harrison Ford and Liam Neeson and that doesn't bother you, but you're jealous of a 30-second spot with LeVar Burton?"
"Did you not watch the 'Teamwork' clip?" I asked him.
Onscreen LeVar declared, "I'm LeVar Burton! I can do anything!"
"Yes you can, LeVar Burton," I murmured. "Yes you can."
I stood up abruptly. "I'm going to write a blog post," I said decisively. "And then I'm going to tweet it to LeVar Burton and Wil Wheaton. I'm going to test this theory of celebrity accessibility."
"Maybe Mike would introduce you," offered Monte.
"He, um, won't return my emails," I said, looking at the ground.
"So what, are you just going to ask these guys if they want to be your friends?" Monte questioned.
"Pretty much, yeah."
He clapped me on the shoulder. "Go for it, babe."
And so I have spent the last two days crafting this blog post.
All this to say:
Dear Wil Wheaton & LeVar Burton,
Would you like to be friends with me?
Sincerely,
Errin Marie
I hope they write back.
* The second fan letter was to Mariah Carey. I told her I wanted to be a singer like her when I grew up, and asked her if she was half black, like me.
Friday, August 14, 2009
The new Thirtysomething
You ever wonder what women in their thirties talk about?
From: Giada
Subject: Wow
To: Errin, Heidi, Morgan
I don’t know what is going on with the world lately, but I had a totally ridiculous weekend and I am still trying to come to terms with it. I spent the whole weekend with my college friend Sara, who has one daughter and is due again in January. We visited our friend Catlin who already has two kids. Then we had lunch with my parents yesterday, and all my mom wanted to talk about was grandkids and Sara’s new little one. I was completely bombarded with baby/pregnancy talk, and I think it finally sent me over the deep end last night. I am seriously wondering if I live in the current century, or if it is still the 1950’s and that is the true measure of a woman’s worth: whether she has a family, and how many kids does she want?
I don’t mean to be insensitive to my friends, but really! I felt so outside of the conversation, I was starting to wonder if they could even conceive of the idea that maybe that was not the only type of existence that one might want at age thirty-something… It made me just want to rebel against the whole thing. I have resurrected my idea of moving into a warehouse and turning it into a painting studio. All the baby talk was stifling to say the least.
Do I sound totally ridiculous? Part of the problem is that I think that I am supposed to want that life, but now I am wondering if I have just been brainwashed.
(No offense meant, Heidi!)
Not to mention that work is unsatisfying right now, and I just don’t seem to have enough creative energy left at the end of the day to paint. I’m not sure if that is an excuse though, or if it is the brainwashing.
Signed,
Confused and Uninspired
From: Heidi
Subject: RE: Wow
To: Errin, Giada, Morgan
No offense taken.
I just got back from dropping Leo and Patrick off at the airport. They are off to Maine for 3 weeks. I got a little teary eyed, but I stopped myself from crying by thinking about my 3 weeks of freedom.
I’m so sorry if any of you are feeling baby pressure. If that is a role you are ready for, then it really is wonderful. You guys would all be amazing parents and I think any kids you may have in the future would be irresistibly lovable! Yes, it is a wonderful experience, but I do believe that my life could be just as satisfying and fulfilling without ever being a parent. Maybe that's why I'm such a good candidate for surrogacy - I don't get too attached. (Well, that and the fact that I have such easy pregnancies.)
Regardless, I love you guys for who you are today and how you impact my life in a positive way, not for who you may become in the future.
Thank you for accepting me, and Leo, with open arms, despite the fact that I'm the only mom (and to an 8-yr-old, no less!). You never made me feel like I was different. You are all perfect just the way you are – no babies (or even husbands) needed!
Signed,
Knocked up with Someone Else's Kid
From: Errin
Subject: RE: RE: Wow
To: Giada, Heidi, Morgan
My mother would say that our problem is that we all need to find rich men to marry, so that we may live lives of leisure, be they child-full or child-free. I think she's only partially kidding.
Anyway Giada, I think converting a warehouse into a painting studio is an awesome idea. You should totally look into that, and later on, if you discover you haven't been brainwashed after all, you can clear a little corner for a baby. I hear they don't take up much space.
I made the mistake today of Googling my friend Mike, who's on that TV show Mad Men. (Anybody seen it?) Well, I didn't realize he'd become such a big deal. Dimly I'd understood that a character role on a popular television series is a fairly big career move, but being that I don't have cable, I haven't kept up with the show. And when all these articles and photos popped up on my screen I was mildly shocked. The guy's had a photo spread in Playboy's Style Section, for heaven's sake! And all thoughts of babies just flew out of my head as I thought to myself, "God, I've got to get going on my career. Like, NOW."
Mike and I used to walk around New York City and ponder the distant future, wherein he was an eminent actor and I was a successful singer. Now he's broken out and I'm just broke.
I bought a secondhand guitar yesterday. I was determined to master it and launch myself as a singer-songwriter. I spent today staring at the guitar, too overwhelmed by it to actually pick it up. Yeah. These career plans are skyrocketing.
Signed,
Not Famous and Childless to Boot
From: Morgan
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Wow
To: Errin, Giada, Heidi
Giada, I love your warehouse studio idea. You should go for it. The world needs more of your art in it.
Errin, don't get discouraged. You have the talent, and now you have the guitar! You'll get there.
So I went house hunting this past weekend. It was my second time going out with a realtor. The first time I took Justin, which seemed like a good idea in the moment, but was probably not.
There was a cute little house that I had my eye on and we went to take a look at it. But when we got there, the realtor couldn't open the door. She jiggled the key in the lock for several minutes but it just wouldn't budge. We considered going through the doggy door but eventually opted against it. So we left that neighborhood and went to look at some other houses, none of which I liked quite as much. Some weren't even in my price range.
I found out today that another couple made a bid on the house, and I was surprised by how disappointed I felt. I wonder if they went through the doggy door? If they did, they probably deserve it more than me.
In other news, two of my closest work friends are leaving this month, which has hit me hard. And Justin's sister and her kids are coming to stay with us this weekend, which, I must admit, doesn't thrill me. I've only met her a couple of times and she wasn't super receptive to me. I guess I brought this on myself, but it still feels like life is particularly tough lately.
Signed,
House Hunting in Utah, of All Places
From: Giada
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Wow
To: Errin, Heidi, Morgan
Okay! Well then, the search is on for a live/work space!
Signed,
Stuff It, Baby-Makers
From: Errin
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Wow
To: Giada, Heidi, Morgan
Morg, I just want to point out that your Facebook status update yesterday said how much you were enjoying life in Utah. Not to undermine what you just said about life being tough, but just to remind you that life can seem really tough one day and be really great the next day. So just hang in there till tomorrow and there might be a shift!
Unless of course you want to ditch it all and come back to California, which seems like an entirely sensible decision to me. : )
Regarding Justin's sister, I think you just have to embrace the awkwardness. Just be your usual open and sunny self, and if she treats you strangely, give her a big smile and hit her with a statement like, "Guess I'm not going to marry your brother after all! Funny how life turns out, isn't it?"
She's not going to be your sister-in-law and you don't have to be friends. But she does have to be gracious and appreciative when she's staying in your home. Don't hesitate to remind her of that, if she forgets.
This might be a good opportunity (after they leave) to re-visit the topic of your living situation with Justin. He might see the merits of having his own space after such a crowded weekend.
Signed,
Not to Be Blunt, But it's Time to Kick That Man Off Your Couch
From: Morgan
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Wow
To: Errin, Giada, Heidi
Yeah, well, I went for a really great bike ride yesterday, which is why I was so upbeat. I guess I was trying to focus on the positive.
I know that I need to move out. I get that, but our current situation has been working, for the most part. Sometimes I enjoy it and it's reassuring, but other times it's hard and very confusing.
Giada, have you made any headway finding a live/work space?
Signed,
I Don't Really Want to Talk About It
From: Giada
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Wow
To: Errin, Heidi, Morgan
Not really. But I think I'm looking more as an exercise than because I really want to move. It just feels good to consider my options.
I'm thinking about going off the pill. It is giving me weird brown spots on my skin and I think that it kills my desire to paint. Am I playing with fire here? I haven't talked to Curran about it, but I've brought it up in the past and he never seemed too worried.
Or maybe it's just my dumb job that's sucking the creativity out of me.
Signed,
I Was So Happy Not to Get Laid Off But Now I'm Having Second Thoughts
From: Errin
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Wow
To: Giada, Heidi, Morgan
Do you really think the pill has something to do with your lack of desire to paint? I've never heard a claim like that before, but I find it really interesting. Does it make you feel lax in other ways?
I've been on the pill for so long, I'm not sure if it's affecting me in any way (other than the way it's supposed to). I'd probably just consider it a personality trait after 14 years. Jeez, I hope I can still have kids. 14 years is a long time to be on medication.
I do remember when I first started taking the pill - I was on an emotional roller coaster for a solid month. I felt completely out of control. After a few weeks my mood stabilized, but it's a large part of the reason why I haven't messed with my prescription since. I never want to go through that again.
It's kind of funny how you have a new-found fear of babies after having wanted to start a family for awhile, and now you're considering going off the pill. Maybe, deep down, you do want kids soon and your subconscious is acting for you! I'm only kidding, but it is an interesting thought.
Signed,
Who Do I Sue if it Turns Out I'm Infertile?
From: Heidi
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Wow
To: Errin, Giada, Morgan
I hate the pill! I realize that it has been very effective in limiting my number of offspring, but it really does have a negative impact on me. I always feel much better when I'm off it.
I switched pills a few years back and had an awful reaction - I was unbelievably moody and just plain mean-spirited, and I couldn't stand myself. My doctor wanted me to wait it out, but I stopped taking the pill and switched doctors. When I went to my new doctor to discuss other birth control options, I was shocked to learn that I was pregnant with Leo! That was not a conversation I had planned on having!
Since then, I have found pills that have fewer side effects. However, my life is always better off the pill - in fact, that was a big perk for doing the surrogacy!
Giada, you should know that I have only been off the pill twice, and both times I wound up pregnant within a month! Granted, the second time was for the surrogacy and the intent was to get pregnant, but still. I have come to realize that it really is the best birth control method for me, despite the negative side effects. It's a hard decision - I'm sure you'll do what's best for you.
Signed,
No Fertility Problems Here
From: Giada
Subject: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Heidi, Morgan
In truth, I think the answer is a little bit of Errin's message and a little bit of yours, Heidi. I do want kids, and not really deep down either; the desire is closer to the surface. I think my problem was more with my friend Sara's attitude. She acted like there wasn't any other option, and I realized that it is hard for me to relate to her right now, because I don't have kids. And what if I don't ever have them? Would we stop being friends? It just makes me sad that she doesn't seem to understand that a person could want something else.
You're right, Heidi - I would probably get pregnant right after I stopped taking the pill. I am pretty sure that I would feel more creative though, because I have experimented with it before. But then I would be pregnant and probably have no energy, let alone the time to paint. OK, maybe now is not quite the right time to go off the pill. But I am looking forward to the right time!
Signed,
The Brown Spots Look Like Freckles, Right?
From: Heidi
Subject: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Giada, Morgan
Now is probably not the best time for me to be talking to you. I just started my second trimester and I feel amazing!Tons of energy, lots of motivation. Honestly, if I could be 3 - 4 months pregnant all the time, I would!
I have another artistic friend who was tremendously inspired by her pregnancy and birth - although, I must say that becoming a mom has changed her a lot. I do find it hard to relate to her at times. That may sound strange, considering that I am a mom too, but we seem to have very different parenting styles and priorities. I guess my point is that even if you do have kids, you may discover that you and Sara are still drifting apart.
Signed,
One of Those Annoyingly Perky Pregnant People
From: Morgan
Subject: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Giada, Heidi
Heid, I'm glad you're feeling so great, but I have a friend who's also in her second trimester and she's been just miserable throughout her entire pregnancy. I keep telling her how amazed I am at the differences between your two experiences. She asked me to pass this along:
From: Errin
Subject: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Giada, Heidi, Morgan
All I've got to say to that is: Damn.
From: Heidi
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Giada, Morgan
Wow! No wonder some people look at me like I am a saint for carrying someone else's child. Honestly, if pregnancy was at all challenging for me, I would never have considered being a surrogate.
Morg, I cannot believe all that your friend has to deal with. That’s awful. I'm a little embarrassed now for gloating about how wonderful I feel. (Although, I really do feel fantastic!) Don’t get me wrong, I am dreading that last month of pregnancy – it is no fun at all, but it doesn't last that long. (Remind me I said all this when I complain about being miserable at 8-and-a-half months pregnant).
Honestly, my biggest problem with this pregnancy is explaining to everybody that I won't be keeping the baby.
Signed,
Just the Incubator
From: Giada
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Heidi, Morgan
I can see how that would be a challenge. I guess some people will have a problem understanding your decision. But Patrick and Leo are okay with it, right? And they're the most important people.
How did your boss take the news?
Signed,
Slightly in Awe of You
From: Heidi
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Giada, Morgan
My boss is fine with it. I ran it past her before I got pregnant, and she was remarkably cool about it. But because I'm so visible at my job, and because I work with kids and parents, I know I'm going to get a lot of questions about the pregnancy. And some people will certainly not understand my decision. My boss actually suggested that we make an FAQ poster and hang it above my desk so that I don't have to keep explaining myself.
Patrick and Leo have been very understanding. Leo was a little bummed out at first not to be getting a sibling, but after we talked about how babies cry all the time and need so much attention, he sort of lost interest. And Patrick has been great. Very respectful, very "your body, your choice".
The person who's having the most trouble with it so far is my mom. For one thing, she's upset that she's not going to have another grandchild, but she's also not-so-okay with the fact that I'm doing this for a gay male couple. And the interesting thing is, it's not so much because they're gay, but it's because they're two men. She really believes that a baby needs a mother.
I was surprised and a little sad to learn that she felt that way.
From: Errin
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Giada, Heidi, Morgan
I'm glad your boss is so cool with this. Although, if you think about it, it's probably the ideal situation for an employer. You're getting outside insurance and you don't need maternity leave. Jackpot.
I'm sorry about your mom though. Have you explained to her your reasons for doing this?
By the way, what exactly are your reasons for doing this?
Signed,
Just Curious
From: Heidi
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Giada, Morgan
It's pretty simple. I never really intended to have kids, but then Leo came along and he's been such a joy to me, such an amazing part of my life. And my pregnancy was so easy, it almost felt like I'd cheated, you know? So many women have fertility problems or difficult pregnancies, and I had neither. Plus, my mom needed fertility assistance to conceive Morgan and I, and I grew up with an awareness that I wouldn't be alive without medical intervention.
Then a year or two ago Morgan and I were talking about babies and biological clocks, and she mentioned that she was worried that she might not be able to have a kid when her chance rolled around. And I just said, "I'll be your surrogate." I said it without really thinking it through, but I've been thinking about it ever since, and I realized that I really wanted to do it. Not for her, necessarily (although I'll still be your surrogate if you need me, Morg), but for somebody who couldn't have kids of their own. Like a gay male couple!
I know some people will think I'm doing it for the money - and don't get me wrong, the compensation is nice - but that's not why. It just feels like something meaningful that I can do, something important to me.
Signed,
Funny Where Life Will Lead You
From: Errin
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Giada, Heidi, Morgan
That's pretty incredible, Heidi. And whether you intended to or not, I bet you're going to teach a lot people about selflessness and tolerance as you go through this experience. I'm very proud of you!
Morgan, how do you feel about the whole thing?
Signed,
She Asked Delicately
From: Morgan
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Giada, Heidi
I guess I felt a little wistful at first, knowing that I wasn't going to be an aunt again. I mean, it is a little strange watching your sister go through a pregnancy and knowing that there won't be a baby at the end. (Well, there will be - just not for our family.) But it's something that Heidi really wants to do, and I respect that.
I do think it's too bad that she can't bike the Tour de Cure with me this year though.
Signed,
I Can Get Over the Baby Thing, But I'm Kind of Pissed That I Lost My Riding Partner
From: Giada
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Heidi, Morgan
I'm proud of you too, Heidi!
This is a very interesting email chain we have going on here. It should be a book or a film. You can't make this stuff up.
Signed,
Do You Think Drew Barrymore Would Play Me in the Movie?
From: Errin
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Giada, Heidi, Morgan
Or a TV series. The new Thirtysomething.
You know Giada, I never saw the resemblance between you and Drew Barrymore until you brought it up, but now it's undeniable. I bet she would play you. She would probably also hang out with us and we would become great friends. I see it all happening.
Signed,
I Want Halle Berry to Play Me
From: Morgan
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Giada, Heidi
Who would play me and Heidi? Don't say the Olsen twins.
Signed,
I Can't Think of Any Other Hollywood Twins
From: Giada
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Heidi, Morgan
How about Katherine Heigl in split-screen? You know, Parent Trap style?
Signed,
Ha, The Olsen Twins
From: Errin
Subject: But seriously
To: Giada, Heidi, Morgan
That could work!
In all seriousness though, we do have some pretty interesting story lines happening here: pregnancy, relationships, career, home-ownership... Would you guys mind if I blogged about it? I'd probably use some stuff verbatim, right out of our emails. But I'd change your names if you'd like.
Of course, some people might figure out it's you, Heidi, when I mention the whole surrogacy thing.
It's just a thought. I won't do it if anybody's less than comfortable with it.
Signed,
I'll Make You Famous
From: Morgan
Subject: RE: But seriously
To: Errin, Giada, Heidi
I'm okay with it, I think - I don't see why I shouldn't be. Happy writing!
From: Giada
Subject: RE: RE: But seriously
To: Errin, Heidi, Morgan
I don't mind. Take it away! I don't care if you use my real name or make up a name for me.
From: Heidi
Subject: RE: RE: RE: But seriously
To: Errin, Giada, Morgan
Feel free to blog about me. Like Giada said, I don't care if you use my real name or create a fabulous fake one.
From: Errin
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: But seriously
To: Giada, Heidi, Morgan
It might get kind of personal. I'm probably going to include all that stuff about the pill.
From: Giada
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: But seriously
To: Errin, Heidi, Morgan
Oh. Maybe you should change our names then.
From: Morgan
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: But seriously
To: Errin, Giada, Heidi
Hmm. Yeah, maybe you should.
From: Errin
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: But seriously
To: Giada, Heidi, Morgan
Consider it done.
From: Giada
Subject: Wow
To: Errin, Heidi, Morgan
I don’t know what is going on with the world lately, but I had a totally ridiculous weekend and I am still trying to come to terms with it. I spent the whole weekend with my college friend Sara, who has one daughter and is due again in January. We visited our friend Catlin who already has two kids. Then we had lunch with my parents yesterday, and all my mom wanted to talk about was grandkids and Sara’s new little one. I was completely bombarded with baby/pregnancy talk, and I think it finally sent me over the deep end last night. I am seriously wondering if I live in the current century, or if it is still the 1950’s and that is the true measure of a woman’s worth: whether she has a family, and how many kids does she want?
I don’t mean to be insensitive to my friends, but really! I felt so outside of the conversation, I was starting to wonder if they could even conceive of the idea that maybe that was not the only type of existence that one might want at age thirty-something… It made me just want to rebel against the whole thing. I have resurrected my idea of moving into a warehouse and turning it into a painting studio. All the baby talk was stifling to say the least.
Do I sound totally ridiculous? Part of the problem is that I think that I am supposed to want that life, but now I am wondering if I have just been brainwashed.
(No offense meant, Heidi!)
Not to mention that work is unsatisfying right now, and I just don’t seem to have enough creative energy left at the end of the day to paint. I’m not sure if that is an excuse though, or if it is the brainwashing.
Signed,
Confused and Uninspired
From: Heidi
Subject: RE: Wow
To: Errin, Giada, Morgan
No offense taken.
I just got back from dropping Leo and Patrick off at the airport. They are off to Maine for 3 weeks. I got a little teary eyed, but I stopped myself from crying by thinking about my 3 weeks of freedom.
I’m so sorry if any of you are feeling baby pressure. If that is a role you are ready for, then it really is wonderful. You guys would all be amazing parents and I think any kids you may have in the future would be irresistibly lovable! Yes, it is a wonderful experience, but I do believe that my life could be just as satisfying and fulfilling without ever being a parent. Maybe that's why I'm such a good candidate for surrogacy - I don't get too attached. (Well, that and the fact that I have such easy pregnancies.)
Regardless, I love you guys for who you are today and how you impact my life in a positive way, not for who you may become in the future.
Thank you for accepting me, and Leo, with open arms, despite the fact that I'm the only mom (and to an 8-yr-old, no less!). You never made me feel like I was different. You are all perfect just the way you are – no babies (or even husbands) needed!
Signed,
Knocked up with Someone Else's Kid
From: Errin
Subject: RE: RE: Wow
To: Giada, Heidi, Morgan
My mother would say that our problem is that we all need to find rich men to marry, so that we may live lives of leisure, be they child-full or child-free. I think she's only partially kidding.
Anyway Giada, I think converting a warehouse into a painting studio is an awesome idea. You should totally look into that, and later on, if you discover you haven't been brainwashed after all, you can clear a little corner for a baby. I hear they don't take up much space.
I made the mistake today of Googling my friend Mike, who's on that TV show Mad Men. (Anybody seen it?) Well, I didn't realize he'd become such a big deal. Dimly I'd understood that a character role on a popular television series is a fairly big career move, but being that I don't have cable, I haven't kept up with the show. And when all these articles and photos popped up on my screen I was mildly shocked. The guy's had a photo spread in Playboy's Style Section, for heaven's sake! And all thoughts of babies just flew out of my head as I thought to myself, "God, I've got to get going on my career. Like, NOW."
Mike and I used to walk around New York City and ponder the distant future, wherein he was an eminent actor and I was a successful singer. Now he's broken out and I'm just broke.
I bought a secondhand guitar yesterday. I was determined to master it and launch myself as a singer-songwriter. I spent today staring at the guitar, too overwhelmed by it to actually pick it up. Yeah. These career plans are skyrocketing.
Signed,
Not Famous and Childless to Boot
From: Morgan
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Wow
To: Errin, Giada, Heidi
Giada, I love your warehouse studio idea. You should go for it. The world needs more of your art in it.
Errin, don't get discouraged. You have the talent, and now you have the guitar! You'll get there.
So I went house hunting this past weekend. It was my second time going out with a realtor. The first time I took Justin, which seemed like a good idea in the moment, but was probably not.
There was a cute little house that I had my eye on and we went to take a look at it. But when we got there, the realtor couldn't open the door. She jiggled the key in the lock for several minutes but it just wouldn't budge. We considered going through the doggy door but eventually opted against it. So we left that neighborhood and went to look at some other houses, none of which I liked quite as much. Some weren't even in my price range.
I found out today that another couple made a bid on the house, and I was surprised by how disappointed I felt. I wonder if they went through the doggy door? If they did, they probably deserve it more than me.
In other news, two of my closest work friends are leaving this month, which has hit me hard. And Justin's sister and her kids are coming to stay with us this weekend, which, I must admit, doesn't thrill me. I've only met her a couple of times and she wasn't super receptive to me. I guess I brought this on myself, but it still feels like life is particularly tough lately.
Signed,
House Hunting in Utah, of All Places
From: Giada
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Wow
To: Errin, Heidi, Morgan
Okay! Well then, the search is on for a live/work space!
Signed,
Stuff It, Baby-Makers
From: Errin
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Wow
To: Giada, Heidi, Morgan
Morg, I just want to point out that your Facebook status update yesterday said how much you were enjoying life in Utah. Not to undermine what you just said about life being tough, but just to remind you that life can seem really tough one day and be really great the next day. So just hang in there till tomorrow and there might be a shift!
Unless of course you want to ditch it all and come back to California, which seems like an entirely sensible decision to me. : )
Regarding Justin's sister, I think you just have to embrace the awkwardness. Just be your usual open and sunny self, and if she treats you strangely, give her a big smile and hit her with a statement like, "Guess I'm not going to marry your brother after all! Funny how life turns out, isn't it?"
She's not going to be your sister-in-law and you don't have to be friends. But she does have to be gracious and appreciative when she's staying in your home. Don't hesitate to remind her of that, if she forgets.
This might be a good opportunity (after they leave) to re-visit the topic of your living situation with Justin. He might see the merits of having his own space after such a crowded weekend.
Signed,
Not to Be Blunt, But it's Time to Kick That Man Off Your Couch
From: Morgan
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Wow
To: Errin, Giada, Heidi
Yeah, well, I went for a really great bike ride yesterday, which is why I was so upbeat. I guess I was trying to focus on the positive.
I know that I need to move out. I get that, but our current situation has been working, for the most part. Sometimes I enjoy it and it's reassuring, but other times it's hard and very confusing.
Giada, have you made any headway finding a live/work space?
Signed,
I Don't Really Want to Talk About It
From: Giada
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Wow
To: Errin, Heidi, Morgan
Not really. But I think I'm looking more as an exercise than because I really want to move. It just feels good to consider my options.
I'm thinking about going off the pill. It is giving me weird brown spots on my skin and I think that it kills my desire to paint. Am I playing with fire here? I haven't talked to Curran about it, but I've brought it up in the past and he never seemed too worried.
Or maybe it's just my dumb job that's sucking the creativity out of me.
Signed,
I Was So Happy Not to Get Laid Off But Now I'm Having Second Thoughts
From: Errin
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Wow
To: Giada, Heidi, Morgan
Do you really think the pill has something to do with your lack of desire to paint? I've never heard a claim like that before, but I find it really interesting. Does it make you feel lax in other ways?
I've been on the pill for so long, I'm not sure if it's affecting me in any way (other than the way it's supposed to). I'd probably just consider it a personality trait after 14 years. Jeez, I hope I can still have kids. 14 years is a long time to be on medication.
I do remember when I first started taking the pill - I was on an emotional roller coaster for a solid month. I felt completely out of control. After a few weeks my mood stabilized, but it's a large part of the reason why I haven't messed with my prescription since. I never want to go through that again.
It's kind of funny how you have a new-found fear of babies after having wanted to start a family for awhile, and now you're considering going off the pill. Maybe, deep down, you do want kids soon and your subconscious is acting for you! I'm only kidding, but it is an interesting thought.
Signed,
Who Do I Sue if it Turns Out I'm Infertile?
From: Heidi
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Wow
To: Errin, Giada, Morgan
I hate the pill! I realize that it has been very effective in limiting my number of offspring, but it really does have a negative impact on me. I always feel much better when I'm off it.
I switched pills a few years back and had an awful reaction - I was unbelievably moody and just plain mean-spirited, and I couldn't stand myself. My doctor wanted me to wait it out, but I stopped taking the pill and switched doctors. When I went to my new doctor to discuss other birth control options, I was shocked to learn that I was pregnant with Leo! That was not a conversation I had planned on having!
Since then, I have found pills that have fewer side effects. However, my life is always better off the pill - in fact, that was a big perk for doing the surrogacy!
Giada, you should know that I have only been off the pill twice, and both times I wound up pregnant within a month! Granted, the second time was for the surrogacy and the intent was to get pregnant, but still. I have come to realize that it really is the best birth control method for me, despite the negative side effects. It's a hard decision - I'm sure you'll do what's best for you.
Signed,
No Fertility Problems Here
From: Giada
Subject: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Heidi, Morgan
In truth, I think the answer is a little bit of Errin's message and a little bit of yours, Heidi. I do want kids, and not really deep down either; the desire is closer to the surface. I think my problem was more with my friend Sara's attitude. She acted like there wasn't any other option, and I realized that it is hard for me to relate to her right now, because I don't have kids. And what if I don't ever have them? Would we stop being friends? It just makes me sad that she doesn't seem to understand that a person could want something else.
You're right, Heidi - I would probably get pregnant right after I stopped taking the pill. I am pretty sure that I would feel more creative though, because I have experimented with it before. But then I would be pregnant and probably have no energy, let alone the time to paint. OK, maybe now is not quite the right time to go off the pill. But I am looking forward to the right time!
Signed,
The Brown Spots Look Like Freckles, Right?
From: Heidi
Subject: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Giada, Morgan
Now is probably not the best time for me to be talking to you. I just started my second trimester and I feel amazing!Tons of energy, lots of motivation. Honestly, if I could be 3 - 4 months pregnant all the time, I would!
I have another artistic friend who was tremendously inspired by her pregnancy and birth - although, I must say that becoming a mom has changed her a lot. I do find it hard to relate to her at times. That may sound strange, considering that I am a mom too, but we seem to have very different parenting styles and priorities. I guess my point is that even if you do have kids, you may discover that you and Sara are still drifting apart.
Signed,
One of Those Annoyingly Perky Pregnant People
From: Morgan
Subject: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Giada, Heidi
Heid, I'm glad you're feeling so great, but I have a friend who's also in her second trimester and she's been just miserable throughout her entire pregnancy. I keep telling her how amazed I am at the differences between your two experiences. She asked me to pass this along:
From: Morgan's Friend
Subject: FW: Please send this to your friend too
To: Morgan
I am 4.5 months pregnant now, well beyond the point where I'm supposed to stop feeling sick. I'm still really sick. Really, really sick. I throw up at least twice a day. I estimate that I've thrown up approximately 211 times since I got pregnant, including this morning.
Everybody says that it will get easier, and it has. I used to throw up five times a day.
Don't get me wrong. I am happy I'm having a baby. I think of my little girl every day. I sing to her and rub my belly and tell her that I love her. But it is not easy. It is the hardest thing I've ever done. (I've done three Ironmans, one with a torn Achilles. I've done one 100-mile mountain bike race without training. I've recovered from a bike wreck that smashed my face and left me without feeling in my cheek for more than two years. I have survived the deaths of my beloved stepfather and my best friend. I know what hard is.)
I also know that I will be happy to have just one baby, because I sure as hell am not going through this again. Ever.
Signed,
Puking in Park City
From: Errin
Subject: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Giada, Heidi, Morgan
All I've got to say to that is: Damn.
From: Heidi
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Giada, Morgan
Wow! No wonder some people look at me like I am a saint for carrying someone else's child. Honestly, if pregnancy was at all challenging for me, I would never have considered being a surrogate.
Morg, I cannot believe all that your friend has to deal with. That’s awful. I'm a little embarrassed now for gloating about how wonderful I feel. (Although, I really do feel fantastic!) Don’t get me wrong, I am dreading that last month of pregnancy – it is no fun at all, but it doesn't last that long. (Remind me I said all this when I complain about being miserable at 8-and-a-half months pregnant).
Honestly, my biggest problem with this pregnancy is explaining to everybody that I won't be keeping the baby.
Signed,
Just the Incubator
From: Giada
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Heidi, Morgan
I can see how that would be a challenge. I guess some people will have a problem understanding your decision. But Patrick and Leo are okay with it, right? And they're the most important people.
How did your boss take the news?
Signed,
Slightly in Awe of You
From: Heidi
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Giada, Morgan
My boss is fine with it. I ran it past her before I got pregnant, and she was remarkably cool about it. But because I'm so visible at my job, and because I work with kids and parents, I know I'm going to get a lot of questions about the pregnancy. And some people will certainly not understand my decision. My boss actually suggested that we make an FAQ poster and hang it above my desk so that I don't have to keep explaining myself.
Patrick and Leo have been very understanding. Leo was a little bummed out at first not to be getting a sibling, but after we talked about how babies cry all the time and need so much attention, he sort of lost interest. And Patrick has been great. Very respectful, very "your body, your choice".
The person who's having the most trouble with it so far is my mom. For one thing, she's upset that she's not going to have another grandchild, but she's also not-so-okay with the fact that I'm doing this for a gay male couple. And the interesting thing is, it's not so much because they're gay, but it's because they're two men. She really believes that a baby needs a mother.
I was surprised and a little sad to learn that she felt that way.
From: Errin
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Giada, Heidi, Morgan
I'm glad your boss is so cool with this. Although, if you think about it, it's probably the ideal situation for an employer. You're getting outside insurance and you don't need maternity leave. Jackpot.
I'm sorry about your mom though. Have you explained to her your reasons for doing this?
By the way, what exactly are your reasons for doing this?
Signed,
Just Curious
From: Heidi
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Giada, Morgan
It's pretty simple. I never really intended to have kids, but then Leo came along and he's been such a joy to me, such an amazing part of my life. And my pregnancy was so easy, it almost felt like I'd cheated, you know? So many women have fertility problems or difficult pregnancies, and I had neither. Plus, my mom needed fertility assistance to conceive Morgan and I, and I grew up with an awareness that I wouldn't be alive without medical intervention.
Then a year or two ago Morgan and I were talking about babies and biological clocks, and she mentioned that she was worried that she might not be able to have a kid when her chance rolled around. And I just said, "I'll be your surrogate." I said it without really thinking it through, but I've been thinking about it ever since, and I realized that I really wanted to do it. Not for her, necessarily (although I'll still be your surrogate if you need me, Morg), but for somebody who couldn't have kids of their own. Like a gay male couple!
I know some people will think I'm doing it for the money - and don't get me wrong, the compensation is nice - but that's not why. It just feels like something meaningful that I can do, something important to me.
Signed,
Funny Where Life Will Lead You
From: Errin
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Giada, Heidi, Morgan
That's pretty incredible, Heidi. And whether you intended to or not, I bet you're going to teach a lot people about selflessness and tolerance as you go through this experience. I'm very proud of you!
Morgan, how do you feel about the whole thing?
Signed,
She Asked Delicately
From: Morgan
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Giada, Heidi
I guess I felt a little wistful at first, knowing that I wasn't going to be an aunt again. I mean, it is a little strange watching your sister go through a pregnancy and knowing that there won't be a baby at the end. (Well, there will be - just not for our family.) But it's something that Heidi really wants to do, and I respect that.
I do think it's too bad that she can't bike the Tour de Cure with me this year though.
Signed,
I Can Get Over the Baby Thing, But I'm Kind of Pissed That I Lost My Riding Partner
From: Giada
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Heidi, Morgan
I'm proud of you too, Heidi!
This is a very interesting email chain we have going on here. It should be a book or a film. You can't make this stuff up.
Signed,
Do You Think Drew Barrymore Would Play Me in the Movie?
From: Errin
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Giada, Heidi, Morgan
Or a TV series. The new Thirtysomething.
You know Giada, I never saw the resemblance between you and Drew Barrymore until you brought it up, but now it's undeniable. I bet she would play you. She would probably also hang out with us and we would become great friends. I see it all happening.
Signed,
I Want Halle Berry to Play Me
From: Morgan
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Giada, Heidi
Who would play me and Heidi? Don't say the Olsen twins.
Signed,
I Can't Think of Any Other Hollywood Twins
From: Giada
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: I'm changing the subject
To: Errin, Heidi, Morgan
How about Katherine Heigl in split-screen? You know, Parent Trap style?
Signed,
Ha, The Olsen Twins
From: Errin
Subject: But seriously
To: Giada, Heidi, Morgan
That could work!
In all seriousness though, we do have some pretty interesting story lines happening here: pregnancy, relationships, career, home-ownership... Would you guys mind if I blogged about it? I'd probably use some stuff verbatim, right out of our emails. But I'd change your names if you'd like.
Of course, some people might figure out it's you, Heidi, when I mention the whole surrogacy thing.
It's just a thought. I won't do it if anybody's less than comfortable with it.
Signed,
I'll Make You Famous
From: Morgan
Subject: RE: But seriously
To: Errin, Giada, Heidi
I'm okay with it, I think - I don't see why I shouldn't be. Happy writing!
From: Giada
Subject: RE: RE: But seriously
To: Errin, Heidi, Morgan
I don't mind. Take it away! I don't care if you use my real name or make up a name for me.
From: Heidi
Subject: RE: RE: RE: But seriously
To: Errin, Giada, Morgan
Feel free to blog about me. Like Giada said, I don't care if you use my real name or create a fabulous fake one.
From: Errin
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: But seriously
To: Giada, Heidi, Morgan
It might get kind of personal. I'm probably going to include all that stuff about the pill.
From: Giada
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: But seriously
To: Errin, Heidi, Morgan
Oh. Maybe you should change our names then.
From: Morgan
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: But seriously
To: Errin, Giada, Heidi
Hmm. Yeah, maybe you should.
From: Errin
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: But seriously
To: Giada, Heidi, Morgan
Consider it done.
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